Are you the same person you were at 15 years old?
At 25?
At 35?

Of course not, you changed.
We all change. Change is the only constant.

Is it any different with marriage?

Women marry men hoping to change them.
Men marry women hoping they won’t change.
Both end up disappointed.

Avoiding the implied sexist and derogatory potential conclusions to that ‘saying’, it does ring true. Both genders enter into relationships with unrealistic expectations. Maybe the only people destined for complete statistical marital compatibility are gay/lesbians. At least those folks have their expectations in sync.

People choose to spend the rest of their lives with someone.
But, people change.

Why then is there this expectation that the inevitable “change” (on both sides) won’t affect that relationship? Why do we fret when people split? Why the divorce stigma? Why not ‘ramble on’? Other than the obvious times when divorce is necessary (abuse, lying, cheating, stealing…hey, that sounds like my last boss), why the trauma when it doesn’t work out? Why not move on when the “change” has occurred? Lots of people on this planet. We’re only compatible with one?

If the answer has something to do with that chemical/biological nature thing called love and/or some such other idealistic romantic notion, disappointment will surely occur.

Marriage really only matters when kids are involved.
Otherwise, marriage is a financial arrangement. It is a societal construct.
It was invented by men, and for the benefit of men.

The pill brought reproductive freedom to women.

Why stop there?
Are we saying that marriage is impervious to change?


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