“You are not going to believe what that motherfucker did.” Texas hollered as she walked into Delta’s office and slammed the door.

Delta looked up from his computer screen and tried to concentrate on what she had just said to him. He was less taken aback by the profanity as he was by the fact that it was Texas saying it. And, based on the door slam, he figured she must be hopping mad. He’d been intently composing and sending emails throughout much of the afternoon in his nicely quiet office and was unprepared for such a sudden noisy outburst.

Delta: “Who and what are you talking about, Texas?” He tried to calmly state as he turned himself away from the computer and gave her his full attention.
Texas: “Bravo, that’s who. He’s an absolute motherfucker. Look at this.” She dropped three pieces of paper on the otherwise spotless desk.

Before picking up the paper, Delta motioned to the chairs in front of his desk. He knew she needed to have a seat before she’d calm down. The previous night’s dinner and time spent with the clients had been draining, to say the least. Both he and Texas were tired and a little hung over. Texas drew her shoulders back, gave a kind of verbal huff and eased into the chair next to the window. She remained rigid and tense, though, despite having sat down. Delta looked at the papers. Quickly he realized they were faxes of a receipt. Their connection to her anger escaped him, however.

Delta: “Alright. I give up. Please tell me what I’m looking at.”
Texas: “It’s the receipt from last night. I called the restaurant and they faxed over the itemized bill.”
Delta: “OK. I see that. But, why did you want the itemized receipt? Didn’t you get what you needed for the expense report last night?”

A year prior Delta had instituted a monthly rotation between himself, Charlie, Texas and Kappa for the hassle of paying for the expensive client dinners and submitting them for reimbursement. The intent had been to spread the significant burden of the monthly Amex bills amongst the group. Everyone had wanted to get the Amex Points, but no one had wanted the cash flow burden on their personal checking account (the agency always took too long to reimburse). The rotation system had been the compromise. And, it had been Texas’ turn the night before to pick up the dinner tab.

Texas: “Yes. I got what I needed. But, this morning, I started to think about the amount of the bill and I wanted to figure out why it was so high. Based on what we normally spend for that sized group, it should be a good five hundred dollars lower…”
Delta: Interrupting. “Well, the wine Lion kept ordering must have been expensive.”
Texas: “I thought of that. That’s not it. Let me finish, please.”

Delta was direct with his employees and had always instructed them to be direct with him. Texas could have simply told him to shut up and listen and no malice would have been inferred.

Delta: “OK. I’m sorry for interrupting. I’ll let you finish.”
Texas: “So, in order to figure out why the bill was so high, I called the restaurant. They sent me those. And, if you see, each page is actually a separate receipt. Each separate receipt corresponds to a separate table. We paid for three tables.
Delta: “Ahhh…so, they made a mistake. We only had two tables.”
Texas: “I thought of that and called them back. They explained there was no mistake. Turns out we had three tables last night.”

Texas stopped talking and looked Delta right in the eye. He didn’t immediately understand her reason for pausing, though. Turns out, she wanted him to reach the conclusion on his own. After a moment, the figurative light bulb went on and he realized what Texas had been implying.

Delta: Exclaiming loudly. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me? He didn’t.”
Texas: “Oh, he did.”
Delta: “Surely he didn’t stoop that low?”
Texas: “Yes. He did stoop that low. He had the restaurant add the charges for his table of hookers to our bill. That’s why it’s higher than normal. And, I think his drinks in the bar are also on there. Here. Look on this page. Look at this list of drinks. There are several Glen Livets on here. I know we didn’t have any Glen Livet when we were in the Wine Room. And, here, this is Champagne. We definitely didn’t have any Champagne. Add it up. There’s the extra five hundred.”
Delta: “Talk about sneaky. This takes the cake.”
Texas: “Well, now you know why I’m so upset. I’m the person that has to pay for his fucking around last night.”
Delta: “Well, this bothers me too. Thank you for telling me about it.”
Texas: “It’s bad enough that I got lobster butter spilled all over my shirt. And, that I had to sit next to BeanTeeth. But this just pisses me off.”

One unfortunate minor incident the night before was that a waiter had accidentally spilled a large dish of lobster butter on Texas. She had taken it fairly well at the time. But, she had been complaining nonstop about butter in her hair and having her shirt ruined ever since. Most everyone else had had a good chuckle about the incident at her expense. BeanTeeth was her pet name for one of the annoying clients.

Delta: “I agree. This pisses me off too.”
Texas: “Well, what are you going to do about it?”
Delta: “What do you mean? What can we do about it?”
Texas: “Well, I don’t want to be associated with it. This credit card is in my name. It makes me mad that the restaurant would put that charge on my card without my approval. It makes me mad that Bravo would do this. It makes me mad that I’m paying for his night of fun. I don’t want this on my conscience.”

And, in the end, Delta knew that the crux of her issue was that she didn’t want to be a party to his philandering. The spilled butter and sitting next to BeanTeeth and the restaurant making a silly assumption were all just annoyances for her. The thing that made her truly mad was that Bravo was a lying cheating sneak. And, for her, there was no greater offense.

Delta: “Listen, Texas. I don’t like this anymore than you. It makes me mad too. But, what are you proposing? Are you saying you want me to call HR?”
Texas: “I don’t know. I don’t know what I want to do. I just know that something needs to be done.”
Delta: “Well, you know how I feel about him. You know that I don’t condone his behavior. But, if we complain to HR, we’ll be done. You know that he’s connected. They’ll blacklist us in an instant if we complain.
Texas: “I know.”
Delta: “I’ve tried to let people know…discreetly…what he is doing. I have gotten no indication that anyone cares. In fact, I have gotten the opposite sense. I think they specifically don’t want to know what he does.”
Texas: “Well, that just makes it worse. That’s why he gets away with it.”
Delta: “Yes. But, if you want me to complain, I’ll do it. I won’t like it and I know nothing will happen. But, I’ll do it. Or, if you want me to call the restaurant and put the charge on my credit card, I can do that. At least it won’t be on your conscience.
Texas: “This will always be on my conscience.”
Delta: “Listen, Texas, don’t let this get to you. He’s not worth the effort.”
Texas: “I know. You’re right.
Delta: “Do you want me to take care of it?”
Texas: “Yes. Please have the restaurant get it off my card. But, I don’t want you to call HR. I don’t want you to get blacklisted.
Delta: “Alright. I’ll take care of it. Again, I’m sorry. But, he’ll get his. Don’t worry. Karma will catch up to him eventually.

Texas quit the agency two months later.

File Under: AND AND AND
Copyright (c) 2005/2006 The Jamoker. All rights reserved.

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