Delta was suffering. He was losing sleep.
Upon going to bed, he’d toss and turn half the night before finally falling asleep. And the next morning he’d awaken much earlier than he’d intended. Soon after waking up, he’d realize (just like the day before and the day before that and as far back as he could remember) he was not going to be able to fall back asleep once again.
The loss of sleep was affecting his moods and his work performance and his ability to deal with his surroundings. He felt stressed. He was irritable. He knew why it was happening though. And, treating the problem with alcohol wasn’t providing relief.
So, on one occasion…in the wee hours of the morning…he decided to start writing down his thoughts. He wrote for a good hour. He was just writing and rambling and writing. He’d been a note-taker and doodler earlier in life, so this was not a novel solution. But, he found that in doing it again and at this time, his mind ceased to race. He was able to relax a little. He even fell back asleep and got a little rest. So, he started writing every time he found himself unable to sleep, whether it was evening or pre dawn.
At one point he decided to write a resignation letter. In all truth, he hadn’t decided to quit. He hadn’t even thought about quitting. He certainly hadn’t pursued any other job opportunities. He just decided, during a moment of mental weakness brought on by sleep deprivation, to write a resignation letter. And here is what he wrote:
This resignation is effective immediately. This decision is final and not made lightly. I’ll inform the clients before I leave for the day.
Where I choose to go and work next is not important. That I’ve been forced to make this decision is, however. I’m not choosing to go somewhere else because of the need for new challenges and/or personal growth. I’m not quitting because I can’t handle the business/client pressures. I’m not quitting because of an extra workload caused by other recent defections.
I am quitting because I’m tired of having to work for someone that doesn’t look out for my best interests. I’m tired of seeing my rapport with the clients eroded, solely to inflate someone else’s ego and appearance of importance. I am tired of the lies, deceit, and continual “stirring up of nothing” that is the ONLY contribution.
Ideally, my shortcomings would’ve been constructively identified and jointly improved. Ideally, I would have been a part of a team that worked together to improve the business. Ideally, I should expect that the clients and senior mgmt. would be told the truth when what/how I’m doing happens to be the topic of conversation.
The reality is that someone’s 30 years of experience is used solely in the pursuit of taking advantage of everything and everyone surrounding. The reality is that I have to “play defense against someone supposedly on the same team”. And, I know the reality is that clients and senior mgmt. have been told untruths about me, presumably for “job justification” reasons.
I expected a mentor, a supervisor, and a leader. Instead I have tutored under a liar, a cheat, and a sneak. I have silently watched the “activities” and “taking advantage” for five years. It has become five years that I regret. And, now I regret having been silent. I thought I was getting the opportunity to move the business forward, for the benefit of both the clients and the agency. Instead, I know, I have been undermined repeatedly.
I have no doubt the “wagons will be circled” and/or that I’ll be forgotten in a week. I have every expectation that the next person will do an even better job. Maybe he/she won’t have to deal with the issue that I did. I do not have an over-inflated sense of my own worth and value. And, I’m sure this resignation will be laughed off as just another whiner with an over-inflated sense of drama stealing everyone’s time with a bunch of incoherent babblings. The message remains valid, though, despite the messenger.
I have approached EVERY day in this job conscientiously. That is NOT the case with the person to whom I report. I need to find a situation where I can work with others that are conscientious.
He felt better after completing it. He liked the style and the message. He felt like he’d made his case. And, he saved it.
Once he had made the decision, albeit subconciously, he no longer missed as much sleep.