So, I didn't get the job I had talked myself into wanting.
And, I've been bummed about it.

Maybe I should have been a tax attorney or a mesothelioma lawyer?

To add insult, work on Wednesday/Thursday took me to the city where I would've had to relocate had the job happened. And, chances are it'll be awhile before I can think about that city without also pondering what 'might have been' with the job. Being locked up with only your thoughts must be the worst punishment possible.

So, I'm trying to move on. Every door closed opens a window, right?

But, throughout this entire process…which is two months long now…there has been the persistent thought of 'what other thing could I do that would be better?'…'what else could I do that would be more fulfilling?'…'what else could I do that would in fact be something worth believing in?' (yes, I know I'm using poor grammar)…

Do I want to be 70 and look back on my life and realize I hated what I had done?

Obviously, there is a strong belief in the importance of the family. But, quitting to spend more time with the kids is not gonna pay the mortgage or allow for the purchase of a big tub of Legos. And, besides, what kind of example would that provide? Doing what you hate builds character, right? Would there be a Jamoker if not for the daily grind?

So, I'm desperately searching for something for which I can have a healthy belief.

Hugh says that "The Market For Something To Believe In Is Infinite." The hard part is figuring out what that thing is. So, I continue to read his and a few other sites looking for the inspiration. And, maybe it'll occur when I least expect it.

This isn't about looking for faith or a supreme being, though. This is about spending work life in a worthwhile pursuit. Yes, non work time spent with the family and doing good things is great. But, what about the rest of the time. Why not spend the work time in pursuit of the worthwhile idea as well? That's what I'm trying to verbalize here…and find…
Do the Mesothelioma Lawyers and Tax Attorneys ever question their career choices?

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