I’m not a big fan of these things…and have refrained from doing them on the site. But, The CoolCat threw me a lob pass and pretty much dared me not to catch it. So, here goes…

1… Things that scare me

  • nothing scares me…I’m invincible!!!
  • ok, well, (in all honesty) getting an STD scares me…as it should you too!
  • getting stuck in line at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles scares me.
  • having to pay too much for car insurance scares me.
  • having sweat stains in the armpits of my work shirts scares me.
  • having large dogs sniff my crotch scares me…

2…People who make me laugh

  • I don’t laugh.
  • I prefer instead the cathartic endorphic release blogging provides.

3…Things I hate the most

  • Jamokes, Jamokes, and more Jamokes. For clarification, peruse the Archives just to your right.
  • Mushrooms, Onions and Green (Bell) Peppers
  • “I hate people when they’re not polite.” (Talking Heads – Psycho Killer)
  • I hate traffic and congestion.
  • I hate it when people flick their boogers…

4…Things I don’t understand

  • I don’t understand doilies.
  • I don’t understand bloomers.
  • I don’t understand why we have to wear underwear.
  • I don’t understand why people use sex to control others.
  • I don’t understand why the world is fighting over a bunch of sand in the middle east.

5…Things I’m doing right now

  • Wasting Time
  • Looking Busy
  • Avoiding Meetings
  • Popping Excedrines (due to headache brought on during un-avoided meeting)
  • Listening to Music
  • Counting the minutes
  • Forwarding my resume to lots of places
  • Digesting Lunch
  • Flicking Boogers…

6…Things I want to do before I die

  • Travel the world – visit London, Paris, Moscow, Tokyo, Sydney & Rio de Janeiro
  • Win the lottery
  • Live vicariously through my children
  • Explore this whole Tantric Sex thing
  • Ride a bike up Mont Ventoux and Alpe d Huez
  • Work on a movie set
  • See the ball drop in person at midnight on Times Square
  • Learn to play piano
  • Play Bass in a rock band
  • Follow The Tour
  • Watch the SuperBowl, BCS National Championship, Men’s Basketball Final Four, World Series, Masters, US Open, British Open & Olympics in person (with a parking pass)
  • Satisfy My Own Expectations For Myself

7… Things I can do

  • Ride a bike pretty fast
  • Change diapers
  • Observe and Criticize Jamokes
  • Drink alcohol (and recover from hangovers)
  • Satisfy Client Expectations
  • Pretty Much Anything and Everything…once I put my mind to it.

8… Ways to describe my personality

  • Obnoxious
  • Difficult
  • Obtuse
  • Dry
  • Sarcastic
  • Cynical
  • Jaded
  • Aggressive
  • Split
  • Mercurial
  • Hard
  • Like An Onion

9… Things I can’t do

  • Program/Write Code
  • Build an ad in Pshop
  • Design and Maintain an SQL database
  • Dribble with my left hand
  • Hit a perfect drive
  • Bench Press 300 pounds
  • Hit a home run
  • Throw a football 50 yards
  • Play piano
  • Abide rude and insensitive people

10…Things I think you should listen to

  • NPR
  • Your grandmother
  • Your friends
  • Franz Ferdinand
  • Oakenfold
  • Tiesto
  • ZZ Top
  • Your spouse
  • Cicadas

11…Things you should never listen to

  • Any Politician
  • Any Pundit
  • Any Journalist
  • Any person over 45 who used to advise against trusting anyone over 30
  • Country Western Radio
  • Top 40 Radio
  • Talk Radio
  • Sports Talk Radio
  • Advice from someone who includes “because I love you” in the sentence

12…Things I’d like to learn

  • Patience
  • Generosity
  • Kung Fu
  • How to have Out of Body Experiences
  • What the Future holds
  • What really happened in the Past

13…Favorite foods

  • Peanut Butter
  • Chips
  • Oreo Cookies
  • Turkey
  • Granola
  • Spicy Peppers
  • Burritos
  • Steak

14…Beverages I drink regularly

  • Tea
  • Beer
  • Water
  • Dr. Pepper
  • Coke
  • Milk
  • Coffee

15…Shows I watched as a kid

  • Presumes I am now an adult
  • I wasn’t allowed to watch much TV as a kid
  • And, frankly, I can’t watch it much now either
  • I did like Star Trek, Miami Vice, & movies though…

On a scale of 1 to 10, was this mildly entertaining?

To keep the good clean and wholesome fun going, I tag my Sis, Zilla, and Rain…I’d tag more, but I don’t want to hog all the good sites…