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I’m not a big fan of these things…and have refrained from doing them on the site. But, The CoolCat threw me a lob pass and pretty much dared me not to catch it. So, here goes…

1… Things that scare me

  • nothing scares me…I’m invincible!!!
  • ok, well, (in all honesty) getting an STD scares me…as it should you too!
  • getting stuck in line at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles scares me.
  • having to pay too much for car insurance scares me.
  • having sweat stains in the armpits of my work shirts scares me.
  • having large dogs sniff my crotch scares me…

2…People who make me laugh

  • I don’t laugh.
  • I prefer instead the cathartic endorphic release blogging provides.

3…Things I hate the most

  • Jamokes, Jamokes, and more Jamokes. For clarification, peruse the Archives just to your right.
  • Mushrooms, Onions and Green (Bell) Peppers
  • “I hate people when they’re not polite.” (Talking Heads – Psycho Killer)
  • I hate traffic and congestion.
  • I hate it when people flick their boogers…

4…Things I don’t understand

  • I don’t understand doilies.
  • I don’t understand bloomers.
  • I don’t understand why we have to wear underwear.
  • I don’t understand why people use sex to control others.
  • I don’t understand why the world is fighting over a bunch of sand in the middle east.

5…Things I’m doing right now

  • Wasting Time
  • Looking Busy
  • Avoiding Meetings
  • Popping Excedrines (due to headache brought on during un-avoided meeting)
  • Listening to Music
  • Counting the minutes
  • Forwarding my resume to lots of places
  • Digesting Lunch
  • Flicking Boogers…

6…Things I want to do before I die

  • Travel the world – visit London, Paris, Moscow, Tokyo, Sydney & Rio de Janeiro
  • Win the lottery
  • Live vicariously through my children
  • Explore this whole Tantric Sex thing
  • Ride a bike up Mont Ventoux and Alpe d Huez
  • Work on a movie set
  • See the ball drop in person at midnight on Times Square
  • Learn to play piano
  • Play Bass in a rock band
  • Follow The Tour
  • Watch the SuperBowl, BCS National Championship, Men’s Basketball Final Four, World Series, Masters, US Open, British Open & Olympics in person (with a parking pass)
  • Satisfy My Own Expectations For Myself

7… Things I can do

  • Ride a bike pretty fast
  • Change diapers
  • Observe and Criticize Jamokes
  • Drink alcohol (and recover from hangovers)
  • Satisfy Client Expectations
  • Pretty Much Anything and Everything…once I put my mind to it.

8… Ways to describe my personality

  • Obnoxious
  • Difficult
  • Obtuse
  • Dry
  • Sarcastic
  • Cynical
  • Jaded
  • Aggressive
  • Split
  • Mercurial
  • Hard
  • Like An Onion

9… Things I can’t do

  • Program/Write Code
  • Build an ad in Pshop
  • Design and Maintain an SQL database
  • Dribble with my left hand
  • Hit a perfect drive
  • Bench Press 300 pounds
  • Hit a home run
  • Throw a football 50 yards
  • Play piano
  • Abide rude and insensitive people

10…Things I think you should listen to

  • NPR
  • Your grandmother
  • Your friends
  • Franz Ferdinand
  • Oakenfold
  • Tiesto
  • ZZ Top
  • Your spouse
  • Cicadas

11…Things you should never listen to

  • Any Politician
  • Any Pundit
  • Any Journalist
  • Any person over 45 who used to advise against trusting anyone over 30
  • Country Western Radio
  • Top 40 Radio
  • Talk Radio
  • Sports Talk Radio
  • Advice from someone who includes “because I love you” in the sentence

12…Things I’d like to learn

  • Patience
  • Generosity
  • Kung Fu
  • How to have Out of Body Experiences
  • What the Future holds
  • What really happened in the Past

13…Favorite foods

  • Peanut Butter
  • Chips
  • Oreo Cookies
  • Turkey
  • Granola
  • Spicy Peppers
  • Burritos
  • Steak


14…Beverages I drink regularly

  • Tea
  • Beer
  • Water
  • Dr. Pepper
  • Coke
  • Milk
  • Coffee


15…Shows I watched as a kid

  • Presumes I am now an adult
  • I wasn’t allowed to watch much TV as a kid
  • And, frankly, I can’t watch it much now either
  • I did like Star Trek, Miami Vice, & movies though…

On a scale of 1 to 10, was this mildly entertaining?

To keep the good clean and wholesome fun going, I tag my Sis, Zilla, and Rain…I’d tag more, but I don’t want to hog all the good sites…

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DSC_0474, originally uploaded by The Jamoker.

Team Building (included Bowling of all things) on Friday.
Exhausted (and sore from rolling a 120).

Soccer and a Birthday Party on Saturday.

Stay tuned for the response to this and this

I’m back on my soapbox about blogger. I’m tired of getting what I pay for…especially when there are other services (wordpress) that are also free, have great/better functionality, and get rave reviews from the blogging elite.

Jamoker AT WordPress is born.

Copyright (c) 2005/2006 The Jamoker. All rights reserved.

Last to the party…

Happy Birthday, Zilla!

(’round here, water’s just about the most precious of things…well, after oil and cattle…)

Copyright (c) 2005/2006 The Jamoker. All rights reserved.

Everybody’s got ’em.
Silly Pics. Blackmail Pics. Embarrassing Pics.

Part and Parcel to enjoying life is being able to laugh at others…er, I mean laugh at ourselves.

First One is of Me (just to prove I’m an equal opportunity O-ffender)

This was my High School Senior Pic…
I think I married this chick…

But, here’s where we get the coup d’ grace…

Dental Dad in all his glory…

Alright. You know you got ’em.
Let’s see ’em. Share and share alike.

Copyright (c) 2005/2006 The Jamoker. All rights reserved.

Jonathan of A Splash of Lime submitted the winning design for the JamokerTees Shirt Contest. It just figures a Graphic Designer would have the skillz. Here is the winning submission…

Congrats to Jonathan…and all who played!

If you’ve paid off your ChristmasKwanzaaHanukkah bills already and are looking to spend some money, here’s the link to more great shirts.

Copyright (c) 2005/2006 The Jamoker. All rights reserved.

At long last…the moment EVERYONE has been waiting for…

It’s Potty Time

Free The Cows

Smart & Sensitive

Got Gravy?

Speaking Softly

Place your vote here in the comments. No anonymous votes will be counted. Voting concludes on 1/14/06. If you see your design here, you better get your friends to help ‘stuff the ballot box’. (What this is all about.) Have Fun!!

Copyright (c) 2005/2006 The Jamoker. All rights reserved.

I got tagged.
Everything being relative, a definition of weird differs from person to person.
Isn’t eating boogers acceptable in some cultures?
Anyway, here are my five…

– I drink cold coffee. I make it at night before going to bed. Been doing this for 12 – 13 years now. I can drink it warm/hot. But, I prefer it to be ice cold.

– I talk loudly. On the fone. In person. People ask me if I’m hard of hearing. It drives my cube neighbors nuts. I love it.

– I’m rude (and loud) when answering the fone. Nine times out of ten, it’s either a telemarketer or someone calling with a stoopid question. So, my rudeness is called for…

– I wear socks to bed. I HATE cold feet.

– I wake up at the same time every day. I do this no matter the day…even holidays, weekends, and vacation days.

Yes. I have lots more.
No. I don’t eat boogers.

File Under: AND AND AND
Copyright (c) 2005/2006 The Jamoker. All rights reserved.

If you thought you might have heard something…if the icebox door was left open a smidge…if you noticed the marks in the dust where the candlesticks appeared to have been moved…

If you are sure you had a visitor, but wondered why no message was left behind…it was prolly me. I visited, but couldn’t conjure anything witty and intelligent to say.

Yes. I am one of “those”. I sometimes don’t comment.
I admit it. I’m a Jamoke.

That’s not to say I don’t enjoy what I’m reading while visiting your sites.
Oftentimes it serves as great inspiration.
And I’m always glad to have had the opportunity to read it.

But, I just happen to be that dastardly type of blog author that usually only wants to consume blogs, instead of trying to engage in a more active participation with the authors. WriterMother chides me for this tendancy. She’s a good egg and is hoping I reform. She feels (rightly so) that the beauty of blogging is the sense of community and participatory atmosphere.

Don’t hate me for failing at this, please. I’ll keep trying…

One additional point, though. You’ve seen my posts. They are long.
It takes me awhile to compose my rants and irreverent musings.
This doesn’t leave me much time for commenting elsewhere.
I’m just a slow composer/writer/author.

I am, however, a fairly quick reader.
It’s always been this way. I zoom through novels and sites and blogs.
I was blessed with an ability of quick comprehension while reading.

Quick to read. Slow to create.
Life is full of contradictions…

Here is the current list of sites/blogs that I visit on a nearly daily basis. Some are educational. Some are entertainment. Some are work-related sites. Some are blogs written by fascinating people. Each has been added to my blog roll. A few are recent adds. Several have been around from Day One. I invite you to check them out…

LoneStarLarimers
Life In The Pumpkin Shell
Alpharat
Aloha From Hawaii
Barely Legal
BlogZilla
Blurbomat
Call 2 Action
Chepner’s House
Chika
Club Life
Dayton Underground
Dooce
Fine Artist
Gaping Void
InformationNation
Kelscraggly
Kottke
Mad Baggage
Mysterious Coyote
Opinionistas
Prez Bush
Protein Wisdom
Rain In The Sky
Rock & Reel
Random Good Stuff
Read My Lips
Splash Of Lime
Tanagra
Waiter Rant
Ad Rants
Ad Pulp
AdJab
AdFreak
AdBlather
AutoBlog
Boing Boing
Blog Maverick
Cluetrain Manifesto
Cool Hunting
Drudge Report
Engadget
Fark
Gawker
Gizmodo
Huffington Post
LiveStrong
One Campaign
Seth Godin
Steven Berlin Johnson
Team Bicycles, Inc.
Tom Peters
Unofficial Apple Weblog
Wired News

I update the list every couple of weeks. So far, very few sites have fallen off the list. Mostly, additions are made…which has added to my difficulties. So many great blogs and sites, so little time! A new find, by the way, is the KarlaBabble blog. WriterMother turned me on to it. Fresh and witty…in other words, additional inspiration for the Jamoker…

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoy.

File Under: Rants AND Irreverent AND Jamokes AND Humor
Copyright (c) 2005/2006 The Jamoker. All rights reserved.

Happy New Year!!

The end date for the contest was yesterday, just in case you forgot about it.

Now that the holidays are (finally) over, it’s time to conclude the contest and give away some shirts. Don’t feel bad if you procrastinated and thought you missed the deadline. Things have been busy here too…so, we’ll tack on a few days. The final submission deadline is now Saturday, January 7. Send in your self portraits or your shirt ideas via email to The Jamoker.

Pics and designs will be posted here. Check back to view and vote.

Happy New Year!!!

Copyright (c) 2005/2006 The Jamoker. All rights reserved.