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Nearly lost to the sands of time are the great commercials of the 70s.
Thankfully the yootoob exists.
Leisure suits…Farah Fawcett hair…bad music…

These commercials had it all.
And, to the children of the 70s, they were very influential.

Like this one for example:

wow.

Looks like “natural male enhancement” will soon have a new definition in the national lexicon. For those lucky enough to have missed the “Enzyte” commercials (which ran during all sports programming over the past couple of years…including daytime broadcasts where young children could have been watching), “Natural Male Enhancement” was the clever marketing euphemism for taking a pill in order to get a long johnson. Here’s an example:

But now, “Natural Male Enhancement” will probably instead be used as a joke alongside the other various and common examples of male sexual inadequacy – like the “penis pump” (google it if you need to see an image), the sports car, or the trophy wife. The cheap (and natural) alternative to the little blue pill you could get without a prescription was apparently a scam. (mock surprise)

The makers of Enzyte have been convicted for a whole slew of wrong deeds including mail and credit card fraud and false advertising (unfortunately, bad advertising wasn’t one of the charges though). And, while there was nothing in the judgment to indicate the pill didn’t work, it’s a safe assumption that the credit card fraud happened when men demanded the return of their money after realizing their Chubby Sausage Johnson Anaconda Woody Schlong Joystick Gherkin Pecker Trombone wasn’t growing by leaps and bounds.

Seller of ‘male enhancement’ pills convicted on multiple charges

But, while the convicted do face the prospect of lengthy jail sentences, I’m sure the appeals process will be fully exhausted before anyone goes to the Pokey.

One of the main charges made by the prosecution in this case was the use of false advertising by the company. To see for yourself the prosecution’s ‘exhibit A’, please watch these:

You gotta love that “north pole” euphemism? Get’s you in the christian holiday spirit…

Another GREAT commercial from Durex…enjoy… 

Here’s a “chicken or the egg, which came first” type of question –

did sexism exist before it was presented in 50s era commercials?

The worst invention in the world…ever…

be careful viewing Part 2, it may hypnotize…

…we’re all stocked up here!!

You’ve surely heard about it from the news media on various recent occasions.
You’ve probably seen the Oprah video.
You’ve smirked to yourself and rolled your eyes.
Because whenever “T0m Cru1se” and “Sc1ent0l0gy” are in close proximity, it just seems like a punch-line is about to happen.
Maybe you did a little research on “Sc1ent0l0gy”. Maybe you bought “D1anetics” when it was a best-seller back in the late ’80s.
Or, maybe you’ve ignored all of this completely (lucky you)…

There is definitely “something” going on, though.The PR folks are busy. The news/entertainment story churn is at full speed. Just about every late-night talk show and celebrity website has featured content from this ongoing drama. All to say that it appears a battle between the Sc1entologists…through their proxy T0m Cru1se…and the anti-Sc1ent0l0gists is being played-out in front of us on a daily basis.

So, I’ve put together a little video to help sort it all out…
As a disclaimer, I have enjoyed the majority of the movies T0m Cru1se has done that I have seen.

This is the recently leaked Sc1ent0l0gy video (who knows how long it’ll stay on YouTube)

“I do what I can. And, I do it the way I do everything.”If I didn’t know better, I’d assume he was running for political office. How can someone talk for 10 minutes without saying anything of substance?

And, here’s another clip…

Here’s Craig Ferguson’s opinion on the whole deal, by the way…

Of additional importance in all of this, is the role Katie H0lmes is now playing. Since becoming involved, she’s gone from being the “girl next door” to “android” in three short steps.

By the way, there are those who believe her marathon was faked.
There is no disputing she has changed.

On Letterman Part 1:

On Letterman Part 2:

Note her oral delivery style and willingness to smile/joke.

Now, compare her new style from this interview with D1anne Sawyer:

And, this return to Letterman on 1/14/08:

I love how Dave makes the same joke about the name of the show – Dawson’s Landing/Gordon’s Creek.

Is it just me or does her white dress resemble the dress worn by Lt. IIia in Star Trek?

1355_0019.jpg

Anyway, the frequency with which this stuff keeps showing up in the news implies to me there is something going on behind the scenes. And, unfortunately, it appears T0m and Kat1e are no longer of their right minds.I hope this was helpful…

And finally, A Great Moment In Celebrity Endorsements:

I just don’t get their advertising campaigns. Does it take this much “creativity” to differentiate the product from the competition? Does it makes sense to combat the post-lunchtime narcoleptic spell with additional caloric consumption? Does selling nuts really require a marketing campaign? Does “E” and “N” always equal “Emerald Nuts” in the mind of the consumer?watch the 2nd one in a new windowNone of these TV commercials make me want to run out and buy some nuts. So, instead, maybe the message here is that the agency that created the spots is nuts. I sure do miss Bob Goulet, though.